Helping Hand

There is always one thing in life that we love to do, giving a HELPING HAND. We tend to lend our helping hands to others as we dislike seeing them in difficulties. Nobody would. I too portray this traits of not liking to see my friends, whether is my schoolmates, unimates, or even my work colleagues, to face difficult times. If I am able to help, why should I not, rite ?

But the problem comes is that some of us, I know I was once, expect things in return for helping others in troubled time. That was a big mistake cause in truth, most of the time, almost everyone that got help from others, ended up gone separate ways. I am sorry to tell you this, but in reality, people come to you only cause they find you resourceful, and when your fuel runs dry, that is where you become expandable to them.

However, not all people are like that. There are still people that will in turn will help you in the future after you helped them in the past. The secret behind this is that it all comes down to your level of friendship. I have a friend from office who actually dislikes me for the way I am. He kinda bullied me in a way at office for my awkwardness. And, whenever he is in trouble, he refused to ask for help and rather endure the struggle all by himself. However, after knowing him that his resource is running dry, I decided that I would helped him despite his refusal in the beginning. Now, you all might be guessing that I would expect him to return the favor rite ? Well, that was then. Now, I think what that makes me feel happy of helping people is that, at least I don't get to see the people around me struggle in enduring life struggle. He still bullied me in a way, but the way he did was now more constructive to improve my personalities. And that is not what I expect, but somehow, it is something that eventually helped me to be better. Ended up, we get along better now.

So, to my readers, don't expect anything in return when helping your friends, cause most of the time, you will not get it. If you willing to help, your mindset must be ready for the outcome. After all, you only help because you wanted to, not being forced to. Lastly, remember that friendship is important. Thus, never let your expectation of favor returns be the one that ruins you and your friends relationship.

Choices

I've been through many moments in life. Some brought joy and happiness into my life, some brought sorrow and tears in my eyes. Looking back at all the moments that I have been through, it comes down to one thing. All these moments that happened to me through the course of my life, it is all nothing more but the CHOICE I've made. Choice is always been in each and every one of us to decide, it was never meant for others to make it for you, even when the others are telling you to do this or do that. In the end, it is still up to oneself to make the call. It is a mistake that we blamed others for the choice that we made. This has been indeed what many do in order to become the victim in their stories. Nevertheless, no matter how it is, your choice is your consequences to take.

Past eight years since I last blog, I've been trying to get myself to be part of the society which I thought that is how I can get friends in life. I've tried to make them feel comfortable by being nice to them. It was actually a bad choice I've made cause I found that this has in turn made me to lose myself. Consequently, many more left me. I always have a thought that people need friends in life to enjoy life better. It is true in a way as with friends, the are things can be done together. Outing, movies, lepak, mamak; those are some of the things that it's best to be done with friends than to be done alone. There's nothing wrong to do this alone, but it will be a dull moment. But when comes down to it, are they really "friends " ? Have that question comes in your mind ?

It's been one hell of a ride for me. I think one of the greatest moment in life is that when I find out what I really want to do in life. Despite there are people around me that will try to sway me away from my end game goal, it does not make me change my mind to make my dreams come true, as I've made my choice. Still, there are people around that will be there by your side to see you achieve your dreams. You can keep that people in your life, but, in the end, they too have their choice in life to achieve their own dreams. Thus, appreciate them, but you have to make your choice to what you really want to do with the life that is given to you.

The Word "Good Bye"

Frankly speaking, I have never like to say this word when I departed from someone. Personally, this carries deep meaning, for me and might be you as well once I told you my part.

From what I've experienced, the word "Good Bye" simply means that once two persons (or more) departed (not KO or "the other one that makes me say "Touch wood" ya ?!), it's like we will never gonna see each other again. And this is somehow really emotional and kinda sad.

There, kinda simple reason for a simple question. Which is why I don't say "Good Bye". Instead, I will say the following

"See u later"
"Later"
"Catch ya later"
"Take care"

BUT NEVER GOOD BYE !

Learn Something New

This might sound a bit "tech-y" but I will try to make it as simple as possible.

Now, since I started using computer (years ago), I thought that Windows is the only OS in the world as everybody is using it. But as time passes by, I was convinced by one of my friends that another particular OS is far better ! UNIX ! I was WOWed by him as he is right ! Also, realized that there are more than 1 OS (other than Windows). So, therefore, my interest to Windows started to reduce as I venture to explorer and learn new things that these OS provides, as I know it is much more simple compared to Windows, if you have the initiative to learn. In addition, found out that Windows tends to give me unnecessary bugs and errors which I myself can't completely rectify knowing that for Windows, I must contact their support center so that their technician can release a patch to Windows. And sometimes, these patches does not make things right, but in fact, worsen things as I know that there was a patch when I installed it, I wasn't able to install Service Pack 1 (that was in Vista time and at least it doesn't happen in 7). But in other OS, you can even look into the root and get it fixed as simple as pie.

So, what I'm trying to say here is, set your own trend. Don't follow others. For instance, Windows, I find that they somehow hypnotize people to the extend that everything can be done using "click click click". I'm not trying to say Windows is bad, don't get me wrong, ya ? But let me ask you, what happen if I pull the mouse from the PC ? Can you work without a mouse in Windows. Hardly right ? But not in UNIX, as if you are willing to learn, everything can be done using CLI (Command Line Interface). So, venture for something new. Don't stick to one same thing only. And this applies to all ages ya ?

Holding Grudge Will Never Help, EVER !

This topic is from what I have written, I would say it's the hot topic to read and to be remembered.
What I can say is that it's never easy actually to express out his topic to people (some might find it easy), but thanks to a friends of mine, I was able to escape from the loop of "not being myself".

It all happens about three days ago, when I was at the library at night, minding my own work (coursework, sigh) and when I receive some notification of my PC saying that I have receive some data from the my uni. server. Apparently, what I've got is actually a log of chat history from someone's machine (Bradford policies make everyone PCs into zombies, so managed to see the inbound and outbound of the connection with the PCs containing Bradford (That's why Bradford is a spyware BTW.) as they allow remote access and remote desktop.). So, I was curious on few of my friends behaviour lately since the Computer Science Gathering and BBQ Night as they do not seem to be very approachable. I went into their chat log, and was surprise on what I've found. I saw in that chat log, my friends are talking bad things about me from my back. They also attempted to sabotage me (according to the chat log) through the club and also the coursework marks ! I was deeply impacted, as those are the friends that I trusted. I really went insane that night, wasn't able to cool myself down at all. I even wanna end my life at that point as I have been brought up in a horrible environment where I'm always alone and thought that uni. life would be different, but it's not. I ended up changed from a soft, kind-hearted person to a "scrooge" type, never bother of the people around me, and always think that I'm alone as those people are fakers and they just wanna use me. At that night, I told myself, friends are just using you.

It has been three days since that night I read the log, and I've not been myself lately as I started to hold a lot of grudge with so many people, even on those friends that are innocent in this event. I don't bother to talk to them, nor greet them, nor even smile at them, but rather ran away when I'm spotted. In fact, I felt like I don't wanna be socialize anymore, and decided to quit all my current positions I'm holding (Computer Science Club President and Computer Science Year 2 Class Representative) as I found out from the log that I'm not doing any good to them. I went to see my lecturer to tell him that I wanna quit, he asked me for the reason of my action but I refused to tell him. He also ask he on my strange behaviour and I never even want to ell hi, but he seems to know a bit somehow, so he tried to calm me, along with Dr. Wang Wei, but no avail as after listening to them, I just let it fly through my ears. I was really at the edge of going into insane madness personalities, even my lecturers tried to help me, but I don't accept it.

For 3 days and 3 night, I didn't sleep, lost my mood and eating, feel like there was no future ahead of me, even on the day when one of the person that I hold grudge on him asked whether I'm alright or not, I didn't even bother of replying, cause it is in public. I was at the edge of meltdown, until one day, before the presentation day, one of the person that I hold grudge on, came to me and then he said he wanted to see me, in personal. It was hard at first, as he tried to calm me down and yet he is one of the person that I'm holding grudge on but, after 3 hours of long talk, we both finally understood each other and I was completely at calm, thanks to him approaching me and allow me to "BLAST OUT".

Few days later, I went to approach another person that I hold grudge with and since I know from the errors that both of us made, I told him all I need to tell (he also did the same) and we also came to an end, MISUNDERSTANDING. So, if there is any problem next time, we agreed to tell to each other and not hide from each other.

The last person is confronted a few day after the second one. He in fact told me my weakness and also improving my weakness and I realized that this type of friend is very valuable as not many would do that although at some point some may say bad things behind, but they don't really mean at all. So, if heard, it's best to confront them rather then to keep grudge.

In a nutshell, as told by Master Yoda from Star Wars,"Anger leads to hatred, hatred lead to suffering. That is the key to the Dark Side.". So, stop anger, stop hatred, stop suffering, stop being bad and lonely person. People are there for you, it's a matter of whether you can find the true person or not.

Academic Offense is a disgrace !!!

It's almost a year the blog has not been alive due to the fact that the writer has somehow MIA...

No matter, I've return and will continue to tell my life and how can you change to have a better life...

For the past months, I've been exploring and roaming, wondering what am I gonna tell to my readers...

However, I wasn't able to write that time as I have somehow lost my skill in presenting things... Anyway, got back to my life of writing and here is it, my first topic of the year...

For the past months, many friends that I hanged out with, lots of them tell me cases, other than telling me about their computer issues and then ask me to find out what's wrong with their PC, they tell me their story about people copying things...

Now, this is an interesting thing that I wanna share,

Copy - The action of replicating or at least duplicating things with exact details and description.

This is my opinion on copy... But, no one know that this action can only be performed on certain events only (NOT ALL !!!). So, how does this relates to academic offense ??? Simple, 

Copy - declaration U acknowledgement -> Plagiarism -> Academic Offense

Now why I said this is because, I want to tell you that this path although it may be simple, but ask yourself, is it worth doing ??? Ok, lets's put it in two scenario, if you managed to do it, what would you earn later in life ??? What if you are caught red handed for your actions ??? Wouldn't that be more shameful ???

I'll tell you, this path eventually lead to one job

"Jual CD cetak rompak !!!"

It simply translated in English as illegal CD sellers / distributor.

So, word of advice, don't copy, especially people's idea cause people have taken ages to come out with it and you just take theirs in matter of minutes (or even seconds since now there's computer and everybody and just CTRL-C + CTRL-V) ??? Sounds kinda pity isn't it... What if people do that on you ??? Won't you feel hurt as well ???

Thinks before you act as what you do changes your path of life...

The Concept of Secrets

It's been a while since I last blog...

Anyway, I usually been living in a life of secrets these days... I've been "so called missing in action" by most of my contacts as most of them hardly able to see me around nor I would be able to see them... The only contacts that frequently I see was my fellow course mates from my own faculty... And that's only about 10-20 people... It seems that people hardly know I exist and even they do, they hardly able to see me around... So, it's clear that as people are separated or we called it "so called depart", they might not know whether you are there unless they ask... In other words, you are living in a secret life, in which you can hide most of your identities... Some people knows me, but they may not really know my details...

Now, what I'm trying to emphasize here is not to tell you to become a loner like me, but the fact is that secrets should only be told with two condition... If the person that you know, asks about you, then it's your choice to decide to tell him or not.. If the condition is otherwise whereby the person you just met, be very cautious on what you gonna tell... Here's an incident, one of my friends saw me with a girl, and when I left, he asks me whether that girl is my GF (Of course you know this term)... Since I know him, I told him that she is my siblings...

In conclusion, secrets can protect you... Only tell when these conditions met,

if (person == friend) {
    if (friend asks) {
        return answer;
        }
    else {
         return null;
         }
    }
else {
     return null;
}

Ok, I've been too "Java-listic"... These are the conditions,

1. If that person is your friend and ask you, then you may and can tell.
    If not, don't tell unnecessary.
2. If that person is not your friend, don't tell unnecessary.

There simple...
Cause secrets is your life...